Okay. I realize those 'preface' comments were thoughts in themselves - but here are some of my Real thoughts on marriage - they're not super profound, or complicated, or perfect. Just some simple thoughts.
1. First, I've heard of countless books, seminars, secrets and keys to having the 'Perfect Christ Centered Marriage' and it got me thinking. No doubt those books and resources are helpful tools for marriage and I'm not so naive to suggest they don't know what their talking about or Anything like that - they know far more than me and have experience that trumps mine by years and years of marriage. But this thought has been lingering lately, when I've been praying about my marriage. You can't have a Christ-Centered marriage if you (as an individual child of God) have not set your heart on CHRIST. This of course is not the 'be all end all' but I believe this is where it starts. Cole and I won't have a Christ-centered marriage if he and I are not (as individuals) setting our hearts and eyes on Christ, recognizing, that while we are one flesh, we are not one spirit. For me, I learned that a Christ-centered marriage begins when I set my eyes and heart on Jesus.
2. If you're not married yet, get ready to get some good lessons on Selflessness :). Doing life with a completely different person is beautiful and Messy! And the more stubborn, and unwilling to understand or compromise, the Harder it will be - I promise. Marriage puts a mirror infront of your face and opens your eyes to your pride. And its frustrating and ridiculous sometimes. Something mr. hartin and I try to keep intentional in as we chat things out (or dare I say, argue!) is placing the high value on UNDERSTANDING the other, rather than proving yourself RIGHT. Things look a whole lot different if I go into a 'chat' with mr.hartin with my motive being 'how can I understand him' as oppose to 'how can I prove I am more right than him'. Apparently I'm a big arguer (It's in the Cranna genes), so this is something that I continually come back to. And I will take this opportunity to appreciate mr. hartin's patience as I am ever learning in this area.
3. Whenever, Wherever, HOWever, take the time to build up, encourage, compliment your husby (or wifey). I know I've said it many times, but it truly is often the simple little and gestures and comments that can totally change a mood, relieve tension or make a grey sky sunny. These little things don't fix deep problems, or mend broken hearts, but they sure do make waves as you try to make sure your lovey feels loved. I'm learning that I have NOTHING to loose when I take the extra time or effort to let husby know he's appreciated.
4. Sometimes he always leaves the closet door open. and that's okay. because I never refill the toilet paper when it runs out. :) so I close the closet and he refills the toilet paper. We go well together. Embrace the quirks.
5. If you're wanting, expecting, or trying to make your husby or wifey perfect. Stop trying or you will die a very sad and unsatisfied person :) . Marriage is messy because People are messy. And in this I find such beauty because it lifts the pressure off to be 'Perfect'. There is no Mr. Perfect or Mrs.Perfect, so let us throw that expectation out the window :)
5. I love love love LOVE being married. It's romantic, messy, adventerous, challenging - its all, its all beautiful! I love my mr.hartin and couldn't dream of being married to anyone else. What is perhaps the most beautiful thing, is that the God that I love and know (and who loves and knows me), holds my marriage in His strong, faithful and loving hands.
A simply beautiful truth
here's to the biggest blessing in my entire world; i love you mr.hartin.
love mrs. hartin
